Previously on Ladies…
On any given day, we send each other between 50 and 200 emails. (70% sports, 15% website chatter, 7% pillow fighting and baby oil discussion, 4% on how our lives are going, 4% on how much we hate other blogs that shall remain nameless.)
So in the spirit of the CHEEZE DOODLE BACON PANTS post, here is the thread that took place this week in response to Chris Mottram’s post on Mr. Irrelevant about dating women who like the NFL. The conversation runs from dating guys who didn’t like sports, bar fights, holding your tongue as not to show up your sweetie in front of his crew, and eventually to my new favorite word, “douchesnozzle”.
Leading up to this point, we had been talking about Metschick’s new boyfriend…
TheStarterWife – So all this love talk has me thinking -
Texas Gal linked to Chris Mottram’s piece on gals liking football being the worst – which was a riff on a piece done on Datehole about the same thing. And if you remember the Hot Blogger Bracket, it was the topic of You’ve Been Blinded’s piece.
What if we did something similar. What is like from our side to date someone who is not as big of a fan as you are? Or did not like that you were as big of fan as he was? Or that you were a big fan of a team you hated? How did you get pass it?
Do you like or dislike a guy more based on the teams he likes? I am sure we all have stories here.
TheStarterWife – I also bring this up because I worry I am scaring my new Squee with all my Steelers talk, and he is a huge sports fan.
Andrea - No, I have dated both a guy who hated that I was as into sports as he was and a guy who hated that I was more into sports than he was. They were both tools.
Metschick – My husband LOVED that I “got into baseball because of him”. What didn’t he like? That eventually, my knowledge of the game (stats, and the like) surpassed his.
Also, he owned tons of MLB caps. I twice bought him Mets caps, and both times he returned them. Grrr. (Seriously, the man owned an Astros cap, a Padres cap, a cubs cap, etc., but couldn’t wear my Mets cap?)
Boyfriend just rolls his eyes now when I ask that he switch over to the game.
Andrea – Why doesn’t Chris Mottram explain WHY it’s annoying to date a girl who thinks she knows or actually knows anything about football? He just says it’s annoying, but he doesn’t explain why. Also: ass
TheStarterWife – Oh, it totally was a feeble post on Chris’s part.
My Squee keeps saying the Steelers thing is adorable, but I worry. Fortunately he’s an NFC fan, so I am ok for most of the season.
Andrea - Yeah and then over on You’ve Been Blinded’s post, he talks about basketball and baseball being okay, but again the football is just a “no.” Why is that?
Metschick – Because guys are asses, and we shouldn’t rack our brains trying to comprehend them.
TheStarterWife – Because they are not well thought out arguments.
Andrea – I just don’t get why football is different from basketball and baseball, is all. What would make a girl more annoying to watch football with or less annoying to watch baseball and basketball with? It’s stupid. And neither writer actually explains himself. I’m getting all riled up just typing about it. I don’t mind the opinion itself so much as the lack of reasons behind it.
TheStarterWife - They all had me all riled up, but I had to give myself a few days to come down from reading them before asking if we should so something in response.
Metschick – Nice….
GordonShumway – True story, my current hookup stayed over last night and this morning I turned Sportscenter on and watched the Brewers/Mets highlights (sorry Metsy) and said that I thought we’d see the Brewers and the Padres in the NL playoffs. He looked at me, milk dribbling down his chin, and said “Ask me if I care.” He was dismissed promptly as his spoon hit the bottom of the bowl.
Andrea – Ugh. Dick. The one serious boyfriend I had who thought it was cool that I liked sports had a standing arrangement with me: I’d be interested in distance running events (he was a steeplechaser and XC runner) and he’d cheer for the Hawkeyes in football and basketball. It’s all about having at least a passing interest in your partner’s passions, right?
The funniest part is that I’ll still get calls or emails from him if the Hawkeyes win or lose a big game. After the NCAA 1st round Thing That Shall Not Be Named, he sent me flowers.
GordonShumway – See that? Is cute. And acceptable.
The irritating thing is that I sat at dinner last night listening to him drone on about arguing a tax case in federal court yesterday, my eyes glazing as I considered propping my head up with a lettuce wedge but one comment about baseball and he acts bored. Boys? Douches. All of them.
Metschick – “Boys? Douches. All of them.”
What irritates me is that my husband was all for me learning more about the game, and picking up on the nuances, until I knew more than he did. We were arguing one day about the Jets/Steelers playoff game (in 05), and I said that the Jets had no chance because of x,y,z, and he was all “you don’t know everything!”
Ooooh, that certainly done showed me.
Andrea - One thing I had to learn as a sports fan is to not show a guy up in front of his friends. I wouldn’t do it on purpose, but I realized that that’s kind of shitty and I would really hate it if a guy did that to me, so I had to start watching myself.
I’ll show him up in the privacy of our own home, however.
Metschick – That I totally agree with.
Besides, when he was with his friends, their sports discussions usually just devolved into who can yell the loudest.
TheStarterWife – TSB got too into the Steelers and football. He get more upset than I would at plays, etc, and would be UNBEARABLE. Once, I had to turn off the TV he was being such a baby.
I HAD TO TURN OF THE TV AND SEND HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE.
And this was a team he had just adopted!
@GordonShumway – I’ve dated guys who didn’t like sports. It worked. It gave us each the break we needed. (True, the guy is now a professor at Berkeley who helped write the Kyoto treaty, I would forgive him for not liking sports since he was saving the world.
Metschick – That is hilarious.
GordonShumway – My longest relationship was with a guy who didn’t care at all about sports but didn’t mind that I did. In 2004, he gave me my Christmas gift early– tickets to games 3 and 4 of the World Series in St. Louis. For that, I’ll always love him, even though he left me for a nasty goblin with enough excess neck skin to cover the infield at Fenway.
Metschick - But you got to see the Red Sox win the World Series. Fair trade off?
Andrea – For real, I’m so jealous you were there. Not for those 2 particular games, mind you. I was busy fashioning a noose out of my shoelaces. But to see your team in person win the WS. Wow.
GordomShumway – Yeah, that cushioned the blow a bit… and I have to remind myself of that when I see the two of them at the gym. She wears slouch socks, btw.
TheStarterWife – Ah yes… The assumption that all men love sports, which we know, it’s not true!
Andrea – This is totally wrong and sexist of me, but when I meet a guy who isn’t into at least one major sport I’m kind of like, “Really? What’s wrong with you?”
GordonShumway - The funny part about World Series guy is that we met playing in the same football league (he was the center/safety, I was a wideout/middle linebacker) He ran track in college (at Wake, albeit, um, several years before I attended…) and loved playing sports…but watching ‘em? No way. He used to laugh that I had Sportscenter on when he left for work in the morning and had it on when he got home in the evenings and couldn’t figure out what in the world could’ve happened in the gap between the two.
TheStarterWife – Now that is funny.
Andrea – No, but I really don’t hold it against any guy if he does not like sports. That just means he has be better in other areas, and has to put up with me when I am out of my mind over my teams.
TheStarterWife – That being said, I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy who hated sports. I’ve just dated guys who were not watching them. (The professor had just kinda grown out of them. He also didn’t own a TV, but had enough records to open his own music shop.)
SA – Hmm…maybe I’m the exception that proves the rules. Most of the guys I’ve dated were only casual fans and the one I dated that was as big of a fan as me was a South Carolina/Braves/Panthers fan. So we never really got into huge arguments over it, although when a loss happened we would mock and make jokes, etc. All good natured.
I think a good post would be in response to this. Call them out on their post. You don’t like girls that like football. That’s fine. How about you explain why you don’t douchebag. And use something valid, not “Uhh…they’re annoying.”
Obviously without the douchebag.
Texas Gal – I think this is a great idea- I’m happy to contribute, but I don’t really have that many interesting stories- I don’t date guys who don’t like sports. Really, I don’t even date guys who don’t know more about sports than me, and I’ve never had a douchebag guy I was dating be a jerk about me liking sports. Y’all are saints for dealing with that.
Now one of my close friends did once have a guy call her when she was out on the golf course to tell her (and I quote): “Your obsession with sports is getting old. I’m serious.” She broke up with him immediately- and we use that as our motto in life now. She should have known something was up when he claimed to be a big sports fan and then got mad when she wanted to watch Red Sox games. “All of them? You watch all of them?!?” Uh, yeah.
I mostly get the reaction from new guys I meet like I’m a fascinating exhibit at the museum- “WHOA, does she actually know that much about sports?!?!?”, all pressed up against the glass and gawking. My guy friends parade me around to other guys we meet like a toy- “Watch what she can do! She knows about sports, can you believe it?” It’s not that rare, guys- about 50% of my friends love sports. I don’t get why they act all shocked.
I randomly happened to sit next to a former collegiate swimmer at the Cubs-Phils game Tuesday night, and he about fell over when I knew several members of his college team, and that his roommate won gold in Athens, and the swimming coach at Michigan, and the years Texas won their NCs. I got free beer from him all night, and shots at the bar after. That was nice.
/end of rambling email
Andrea - I’ve been marched out like an exhibit this summer at the law firm. All the guys I work with are like, “What’s Buddy Carlyle’s ERA?” and shit like that. I’ve started making “dance, monkey, dance” jokes, which shuts them up.
Texas Gal - You should start charging an admission fee.
Andrea - Oh, also: I’m totally in agreement about “all the games” thing. I know alleged “fans” who have no interest in watching regular season games. I mean, I don’t stay home for 162 nights but I like watching as many games as I can, you know?
Metschick – That boggles my mind. how about people who claim to be sports fans, and then don’t even watch an iota of the playoffs, because their team isn’t in it? I love the Mets, but I love baseball even more.
Holly – Dude, I can SO relate to this:
My guy friends parade me around to other guys we meet like a toy- “Watch what she can do! She knows about sports, can you believe it?”
Andrea – I will admit, we are more the exception than the rule. But I resent being made to feel like I should have my cage next to the bearded lady and conjoined twins.
Holly - I actually don’t mind that part so much myself. It gives them a (mostly harmless) laugh, and they know good and well I can school them in Madden.
Texas Gal - Then it’s all, “Try it! Ask her a question! Isn’t she amazing!”
Don’t even get me started on the inevitable comments from guys when they see you scoring a game. It’s like you speak another language they thought only guys knew.
Metschick – Heh, I used to be the Elias Sports Bureau: “What’s so and so batting right now? How about John Doe Pitcher – how many home runs has he given up?” At least 3 times a week, I’d have to answer questions like that…
Texas Gal – Yeah- I mean, I’m not staying home and foregoing a night out for a baseball game- but if Roger Clemens is back pitching his first game for the Yankees, or the Cubs are playing the Cards, or Josh Beckett is pitching, I need to have a TV in sight.
Andrea – Exactly. I just politely request that wherever we go has a TV. No big deal.
TheStarterWife – I do not like the “monkey” dance thing either. And don’t try to trip me up on knowing the plus/minus of Dwayne Wade just because I have breasts and you feel pissy. You wouldn’t do that to another guy you just met, and I don’t need to pass a test. I like the game and that should be enough for you.
Andrea – Ooooh, the guys who act like it’s a test are THE WORST. I don’t mind the “ooh, look what this girl can do” nearly as much as I mind the “oh yeah? Well, answer these questions to prove you have a penis” attitude.
TheStarterWife – Well the thing for me is, I never try to say I know more or less than anyone when it comes to sports/music/movies/politics/sea turtles.
There is too much going on in the world to be 100%, top-o-the-food-chain, expert in anything. There is no test in sports. I like it. You like it. We get to cheer, drink beer, and argue over why your team sucks and why my team rules. Why make it more complicated than that?
Holly – I’ll have some stories later tonight when I get home…I date a lot of geeks. Foobaw is generally a sore spot with them.
Clare – Pittsburgh guys were the worst about testing your sports knowledge. I hate to bring up the Justin Strelczyk story again, but when I was talking to him was real curt about the Steelers:
Me: So what do you do?
Him: I was a professional football player.
Me: Oh yeah? Who did you play for?
Him, real nasty: The hometown team. You know it?
Me: Uh, yeah, of course. I might be from Philadelphia but
I know who the Steelers are.
Andrea – Earlier this year I got in to a faux argument about the best hitter in baseball (I thought we were having fun) and the guy arguing for Ortiz finally just shoved me and stomped off. It was pure class.
Texas Gal – I confess I did get in one sports-related bar argument once. When I was in Tampa for spring training, we were at a bar watching basketball, and some random douche had the NERVE to regurgitate (almost word for word) a Bill Simmons column about how shitty of a coach Rick Barnes is, and I ripped him a new one for (a) not knowing what he was talking about, and (b) trying to pass off shitty Bill Simmons arguments as his own. I told him to get back with me when he watched enough sports to form an opinion of his own, but until then, to quit talking to me. And then I made a shoo-ing noise and motion with my hands.
TheStarterWife – We need a Ladies night out. Scare the locals.
Andrea – No shit. I’m serious: Vegas PP!!!
Texas Gal – I can only imagine that night would end in tragedy of the very best kind. Bar fights, jail, dirty alleyway hookups… you know, the norm.
Clare -…you know, *Tuesday*.
SA – The guy physically pushed you?! WTF?
I was thinking the same thing Metsy. Like last year when Duke loss in the first round, that doesn’t mean I stop watching the tournament. And it sucked like hell to watch Florida-tOSU but I did it. Posers.
Andrea – Yeah, he gave me a right old shove. It took all my strength to keep the Yankee fan who was on my side about Pujols from beating the shit out of him.
TheStarterWife – I was just talking to my Squee and I remembered this story -
Summer between senior year of HS and college, I dated a guy who wanted to leave a Pirates game early. That was the basis of our break up
Holly – The beginning of the end of a year and a half long relationship I had with a Boston-born guy came when I spent the 2004 AFC Championship Game in Cambridge with his family of Massholes.
Metschick – yeah, I can’t believe some douche shoved you over a stupid argument!! What a douchenozzle.
And so it ended with “douchenozzle”. By the way, be sure to also check out SportsGirl365’s take on women and football, for a slightly different view.
UPDATE – Be sure to check out Datehole’s new post about the casual male sports fan and dating a sports- minded gal. I think he nailed it (hehehehehe) in the response.