Congratulations Holy Dog Water, you are the

Ladies Hot Blogger King.

All it took was one comment out of 523 (at last count) when we had to shut the voting down to win our hearts.

I’m not completely sure of all the details and since the comments are approaching 500 I’m assuming I will never read it all and catch up. So, excuse me if I’m repeating the obvious. But alas, I have to put my 2.8 cents worth in.
When the Ladies mentioned “cheating” I assumed (and still do) they were trying to let us little cry babies know that they weren’t going to baby sit us if and when someone did cheat. And by cheating, I’m sure they were thinking of people voting multiple times by hand with a different IP Address maybe using a simple anonymizer or such. Or maybe using the ten servers at work to vote ten times.
You know, the type of cheating in sports that doesn’t end the entire game. Holding, off-sides, illegal motion, not setting the f**king stadium on fire!!!! Oh well, you live and learn Ladies. And the lesson here? No matter how old we guys get, we will still be little bitches and do whatever it takes to win… even if it means destroying the game itself. Ask George Steinbrenner, he’ll tell you (haha, that’s right, the yankees suck!).
Oh well, I guess this means I have to actually do work the rest of the week. Thanks Ladies. If I could vote for you Ladies, I’d do it like 1.8 million times.

In my first email, the subject line said it all, “Can we just declare HDW the winner? His second paragraph seals it.”

The reactions were unanimous.

Andrea His submission made me cry with laughter and he’s hot. He looks tall. Hopefully climb-him-like-a-tree tall.

HollyAny man who can pose with arms folded against a lamppost with a STRAIGHT FACE and still win my undying devotion is an unusual specimen, indeed.

SAHDW is my new favorite person. A God among men. Especially with that smile.

GordonShumwayGood thing he doesn’t work at Home Depot, because the stud finders would go craaaazy.

Metschick You Stay Classy Yankees, The Evil Empire Strikes Back, Wang Out for a Month – As a Mets fan, there’s nothing else you have to do to win my love.

Texas GalForget poetry and flowers and playing the guitar and sappy shit–give me a guy who can knock a mofo out.

ClareHoly Dog Water? More like holy crap, that man has good hair. It’s thick and lustrous and I wanna run my fingers through it.

We love all 87 of the rest of you, but this had to end eventually. Better now before the real tears began to fall.

A big “thank you” to everyone who sent emails supporting us, (especially when we had to add back some entries for math’s sake – which as T. Kyle King from Dawg Sports found in the bracketology – were all going to lose again), and to all the kind comments when the voting started to turn sour and for making the bracket into something fun again. Who knew we all had so many quiche recipes?

Personally, I would also like to thank David at for all of his help with this bracket. For the record, he has been nothing but helpful and even took the time to email us after reading all 500+ posts in the last thread to make sure we understood that they were in no way upset for what we did to their service once the voting bots hit. We’re coming up on football season, so if any of you plan on running any polls on your site about how much the Big East sucks, please be sure to make PollDaddy your first choice.   (UPDATE – Woo hoo! They got our basket and dug right in! How cute is that! One is even wearing a Chieftans shirt! Can you get more Irish and cute?!?!)

HDW, GordonShumway is making up a special “Ladies HBB” winner seal just for your site, and as soon as we get your size and color preference, a “Hot Blogger” Neighboorhoodie will be sent your way.

Let’s never, ever do this again.

UPDATE – Be sure to check out the winner’s victory speech!

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62 Responses to Hot Blogger Bracket – We’re Crowning His Ass

  1. For the record, I completely disagree with T Kyle King’s theory that we should have had a Hot Blogger Bowl system. We might be fickle and bad at math, but we’re certainly smarter than the brains behind the BCS.

  2. Golf claps to HDW for winning.

    Ugh. The Hot Blogger Contest as BCS System would have been even more of a clusterfuck, although some of us who lost in the earlier rounds could have claimed that we deserved a shot at the championship due to strength of opposition.

  3. ladyandrea says:

    Excellent work, TSW. That spread in front of his picture is awesome.

  4. Mike White says:

    I am inclined to declare winners all 9 contestants who were both alive and undefeated when the contest was called (the Matt Jones/Joe Speaker robot battle notwithstanding), but HDW is fully deserving of the title, so the Ladies… made a good decision here. Still, I was on pace to do battle against him in the next round, and I can’t help but wonder “what if”.

    Once again, a big thanks to the Ladies…for putting this contest together. A bracket is way better than a BCS-style system; I would have had a lot less fun playing in the Hot Blogger Meineke Car Care Bowl. So once again, congratulations to Holy Dog Water for winning this contest…unless, that is, he is prepared to put his title on the line against me in a “hair-off”.

  5. Sooze says:

    That shrine is a bit creepy. Okay, it’s really creepy.

    Dog H20, congrats on being hot.

  6. Suss-- says:

    No quiche tiebreaker? Why even have a tournament then?

  7. Congrats HDW. That was well written.

    As a show of sportsmanship, I officially let it be publicly known that I will soon be stealing your championship jpeg trophy.

    Our twelve readers won’t know the difference. Everybody wins.

  8. Precious Roy says:

    Nice touch with the Magnum there Ladies…

    Thanks for the effort.

  9. Extra P. says:

    God, I can be nothing but juvenile.

    I, too, would like to know HDW’s “size and color preference” for any number of things.

  10. Sooze – Other than the roses and the chocolate covered strawberries which needed to be fresh, everything there was stuff I had laying around the house. (Which means maybe I need to rethink my life’s choices if it comes off of “creepy”.)

    PR – See above.

  11. metschick says:

    That shrine is a bit creepy. Okay, it’s really creepy.

    /Tears down Carlos Beltran shrine.


  12. Burnsy says:

    Wow. OK. And to think I came here as a hetero male with a gift that made me immediately think of the Ladies…

    Whatever, I won’t be too bitter.

    Meet Breaux Greer. He makes me wish I didn’t bother with baseball all those years:

  13. CJ says:

    Congratulations to HDW! Alas, Up For Sports would have enjoyed seeing Joe Speaker with the crown, but the cost was too high.

    It’s true, we went from barely grabbing Ginobili’s jersey as he went down the lane to gang tackling him when he didn’t even have the ball. We went from using a little flaxseed oil to pumping ourselves full of every illegal performance enhancing substance we could find. We went from sneezing loudly while our opponent putted to detonating dynamite all over the course.

    It was blatant… and, at times, hilarious, but we never intended to ruin the fun for everyone. The UFS crew has a new found love of The Ladies and they’ve moved to the top of our blogroll (for all 54 average daily readers, as the UK folks like to remind us).

    A heartfelt thanks for running this monstrosity with class in the face of some rather vicious allegations. We had a blast. And we, too, hope you never do it again!

  14. JP says:

    Congrats, my friend, you are a deserving champion. I knew you were a favorite when Iron Fist of Wife saw your picture and said “Wow! He’s good-looking.” Then to find out you were actually a good writer too, meant all of us were in trouble. Being both hot and writing well makes you a great representation of what this contest was all about.

    Cheers to the first and only Hot Blogger Bracket Champion!

  15. bristlesage says:

    A deserving champion. I raise a glass to him. Cin cin!

  16. bristlesage says:

    Or, you know, what JP said.

  17. mcbias says:

    A hearty congrats to HDW as well. And, I know this is the point where everyone says “We don’t care anymore!”, but when we were stuck with 11…why didn’t we just do 4 pools of 3 people each to get to a Final Four? The 12th person could have just been a blogger drawn at random or one of the 3 play-in seed. That was one way of fixing things. Just a thought.

  18. Holly says:

    You know what would be really awesome? If this turned into another hydra thread of Kentucky trolls, sour grapes, and boys telling drunk girls how to do math. That’s why we work so hard on this, after all.

  19. McBias – A vote like would have still resulted in Joe Speaker playing Mike Jones, (which is what it was going to be if we have a straight up vote on the bottom four seeds for the 8th spot to go from 11-8), and again – same result.
    Seriously, between this and your email the other day – drop it. We’re ending this on a nicer note.

  20. mcbias says:

    In your comment, is “this” the bracket or the drinking? I’m confused. :-p

  21. The Great Barstoolio says:

    For he’s a really hot blo-o-ogger! Which nobody can deny!

    Great job, Ladies.

  22. mcbias says:

    The “this” was meant for Holly. I certainly didn’t have the intention of opening the entire can of worms from the last post with my comment. You can delete my comments from this post if you wish.

  23. jebushchrist says:

    As per usual, you Ladies… took something rotten and made it smell good again. Congratulations to HDG, a man, in a sea of bile, who knows what it means to be a man.

  24. Redhead says:

    HDW – he may say really mean things about the Yankees (which hurts), but he makes up for it by having a truly cute dog. So congrats.

  25. CJ says:

    Wait? He says mean things about the Yankees?

    Sounds like a winner we can all get behind.

  26. jebushchrist says:

    McBias – come on man, can’t you feel the love in here today? Are you made of stone? Let’s make this a happy ending.
    You know what a happy ending is, don’t yah?

  27. Burnsy says:

    Is it “construda”? Because that would solve a HUGE mystery today.

  28. J-No says:

    Holy Dog Water is an absolute hottie!!!

  29. Way to go Scott. So it’s true, you really can get laid for being a blogger.

  30. DCScrap says:

    nice job ladies…

  31. Chad'sMyGuy says:

    Ladies…This was lots of fun, thanks for putting it all together for our reading/ogling/voting pleasure. HDW – Congrats on your well deserved win! I certainly voted for you.

  32. Rupert – To quote the entry from TC/J-Fizzle, which was one of the best entries we received –
    We may not be the most widely-read blog on the ‘net, but we’re getting a kick out of writing about mediocre football, and all of the sex it’s inevitably going to lead to.

  33. Holly says:

    I’m irrationally fond of their tagline–“We don’t know anything about the AFL, but neither do you”.

  34. Extra P. says:

    By the way, since most of the stuff in the above picture was stuff TSW had lying around the house already, I’d like to congratulate both her and The Starter Boyfriend on the Magnum.

  35. J Fizzle says:

    The Ladies… giveth* and the Ladies… taketh away**.

    An excellent choice of brains and brawn – congrats HDW!

    Ladies… please take some time off. And don’t do this to yourselves ever again. Unless, of course, there’s a $100 entrance fee to cover the martinis and trips to the masseuse you’ll need to survive another undertaking of this magnitude.

    *Incredible amount of time and effort
    **The pain of reading volumes of anonymous misspelled internet bitching from the state of Kentucky

  36. J Fizzle says:

    TSW/Holly: I can’t speak for TC, but I’m still waiting for that particular payoff.

  37. dctrojan says:

    On the one hand, well done HDW. On the other hand, WTF is someone who looks like that doing blogging? Cease and desist immediately sir, and leave this to those of us who have given up, aesthetically speaking.

  38. Extra P – You might have missed the post where I mentioned that TSB is 6’3 220. (And for the UFS crew, doesn’t mind when I come home in the middle of the night from casino.)

  39. Holly says:

    +1 DCTrojan

  40. Hater says:

    Women have brains one third the size of a man’s. It’s science.

  41. CJ says:


    Now THAT’s a good man. You’ll be on the invite list for the next round of crazy gambling.

  42. The people in the neighborhood I was trolling with Lappy for free wi-fi and new IP’s would like to thank you for ending the contest.

  43. anonymous says:


  44. Woo hoo – Update from Polldaddy guys –

  45. Ladies… Internet Domination Plan

    Step One: Pit all bloggers against one another


    Step Two: Befriend Overseas Coders


    Step Three: ???????

    Step Four: $$$$$

  46. Chris says:

    I QUESTION THE LEGITIMACY OF THIS CROWN AND WILL RUN MY OWN CONTEST FOR HOT MEN. Wait is that gay? Like, I mean, it’d be done totally heterosexually. No cup checks.

    Seriously though congrats to HDW, whose blog is well-written and as lustrous as his hair.

  47. Extra P. says:

    OK, I want to go to Ireland more than ever now. Look at those warrior-poets guzzling your booze and eating your cheese, content only for the provender of today with no fear of the impending darkness to come.

  48. Extra P. says:

    Wait…. that’s what “impending” means, isn’t it? DAMN IT!

  49. The Great Barstoolio says:

    I know this is Holy Dog Water’s day, and he’s earned it, but … who knew such hotties lurked on the back end of online polls?

  50. SA says:

    We were saying the same thing Barstoolio.

  51. […] “crowned” the Hot Blogger Champion like this, at least now I finally know how W felt after the 2000 election.  Thank you to the […]

  52. beingsven says:

    *practices my arms-crossed lamppost-lean move*

    *fumbles and tries again*

    My goal is come out of the summer having added a new pose to my arsenal.

    HDW, I salute you.

  53. Best. Ending. Ever.

    Next year, when you beat the KSK guys in the NCAA bracket, you should get THEM to run the Hot Blogger Contest.

  54. J Fizzle says:

    Fake Gimel Martinez: +100

  55. JP says:

    After reading his comment again in the 500+ thread again I began to understand the genius of HDW.

    Not only is he good looking (Holly’s point is crucial: 1% of guys can pull that look off with a straight face), he manages to one-up everyone with his witty response.

    All the other bloggers either a) tried to defend the Ladies… honor b) attempted to be the voice of reason c) complimented the Ladies… or d) attempted to make the offenders feel stupid. HDW shows up late on his motorcycle, effortlessly pulls off a, b, c and d simultaneously and then rides away with the championship and the hearts of the Ladies… in tow.

    I’ve never seen anyone actually achieve that in print.

    Truly you are the Champion, HDW. Your legend grows everyday.

  56. […] Hot Blogger Bracket – We’re Crowning His Ass [image] Congratulations Holy Dog Water, you are the Ladies Hot Blogger King. All it took was […]

  57. Now that the contest is over, let’s poor a little liquor out for Sven, the greatest name for a jump off EVER. Keep working out!

  58. Flametown says:

    Texas gal and Clare: check this out- Chase Utley in his Scranton Wilkes Barre days, interviewed by none other than Fredex.

    awesome- Chutley is the freakin man

  59. holydogwater says:

    Massive thanks to all for the big laughs and really good times over the past several weeks. I had no idea it would be this much fun when we started this event. If you missed my “acceptance” speech and get bored, here it is.

    The only negative of this whole thing, besides having the paparizzi camped outside of my house all weekend, is that I now have like 25 great new websites to hit at work each day. I may need a job soon. Damn boss!!!

    Long live the Ladies reign!!!!

  60. Daniel says:

    The thing that makes me laugh is that the Joe Speaker guys claimed that Matt Jones and UK were cheating in all of the previous rounds, which is not even possible. Does anybody honestly think that anybody in Kentucky would know enough about the internet to cheat like that? It was posted on UK blogs and messageboards around the internet(including the cats pause, a messageboard that has had over 11,000 members on it at one time), and everybody put Matt Jones on their backs and told everyone they knew to vote for him.

    Most of his votes were from people that didn’t even read his blog, they just knew that UK was in a tournament, and UK is supposed to win every tournament.

  61. […] There are plenty of stereotypes of sports bloggers: guys in their underwear in a basement, in their underwear but not necessarily in a basement, guys in their pj’s in their parents’ basement, and … actually that’s about all that’s known with any certainty about bloggers. Because the medium provides a level of anonymity, it’s difficult to know much about bloggers aside from the occasional interview or blogger beauty contest. […]

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