You’re fine! Every body holds weight differently. I’m very short, but also very curvy, so my weight doesn’t mean anything to anyone’s body unless you’re also 4’8 1/2 and 34H with 36 inch hips. (And size 4 shoes. I’m the human platypus of form.) So when I look at weight and height charts that say 85-105 lbs with my doctor we break into laughter and then I make jokes about pygmies.

My weight has gone up and down for years. When I first started dating Bryan I was about 118 lbs at about 18% body fat. I haven’t regained all the muscle yet. (Stage one of my new health routine is just losing the bulk, so it’s been all aerobics up in this joint. No lie, I’ve dug out my old Jane Fonda tapes. She’s one fit bitch. Anyway, I expect to go up again in muscle weight soon. That’s a good thing.)

But up and down and up and down and up and down… Even when I got married I was so busy and stressed out with work I didn’t have energy and willpower to lose weight for the wedding. Over the summer I decided (after reaching a very heavy high in the spring) that enough was enough. Years of trainers, exercise, a brief stint in Weight Watchers (which was not for me) and general self-loathing I started a Google Docs spreadsheet of what ate each day and the corresponding calories.

We all know how the story goes. Smacked with the reality that you’re eating 2500-3500 calories a day on your relatively healthy diet, you cut down portion sizes, cut way down on the drinking and figure out how you can maximize taste for calories for snacks. (I have BoSoxSiobhan to thank for alerting me to Laughing Cow Blue Cheese wedges. One wedge on top of a rice cake? Depending on the rice cake brand 70-80 calories. Dash with hot sauce? Even better.)

Anyway, every body is different and people do not realize I’ve lost weight. (Except for my hairdresser and Bry.) Only one of my friends has noticed. No one believes me when I say I weighed nearly 150 lbs in May and about 127 when I saw the sporty blog types at HEIST in August. Everyone just says, “Did you cut your hair?” which is fine because I just did it for me and nobody else.

All those recipes I post every week? I had about three servings of Chicken Mole Frito Pie. You just accept that you’ve lost some momentum and keep going.

Anyway, this is starting to ramble and I swore to myself I wouldn’t put anything on my Twitter or Tumblr or Facebook or any other social media platform that will be unveiled between now and until I reach my goal.

But yeah, every body is their own.

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