“So, they’re not superheroes?”

“No, they’re just ordinary people who get the shit beat out of them.”

And that is all you need to know about KICK-ASS. An ordinary guy, who get’s the shit beat out of him.  An explanation which might also describe this unusual photo set, but who knows.  Maybe he’s never had the shit beat out of him.  (Even money says he’s come close though.)

If there is anything I have learned from watching superhero movies and asking my husband for the Cliff Notes versions of comic books and graphic novels, it’s that nearly one-third to one-half of a hero’s strength comes from their name and this hero did not name this character and gave this suit just the sad “Superfan” title.

Mr. KICK-ASS here deserves a better name.

In his story, "soon-to-be-named-ordinary-guy" forces Ozymandias into throwing a pick-six during the Super Bowl.

Some suggestions:

  • Jazz Jabberwocky
  • Cajun Critter
  • Andouille Abdominous
  • Venerous Voodoo
  • No, I Wasn’t in the PELICAN BRIEF

His B storyline involves deciding if he should to go Mike Feinberg's before or after hitting Pamela's for pancakes.


  • Sanguisugent Steel
  • Black and Gold Bacillicider
  • The Hyperbolic Hypocycloid
  • Yonderly Yinzer
  • Steely McBeam After Dark

Throw your suggestions for Mr. KICK-ASS in the comments.

Photoshops by my partner, Bryan. Go follow his nascent Tumblr.
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