So one of my fantasy football leagues, the THUNDERDOME which is made up of Steelers fans and bloggers, was emailing about our playoffs this morning and we were all laughing about how a team that started out 1-4 ended up being a top seed, games that went bad and players that had let us down. I was responding to something Mike said and added the following;
You know what would be great, a post where someone travels back in time four months to tell themselves how their supposedly “great draft” went in the future.
“Do you have flying cars yet?”
“No, but Michael Vick is considered a front runner for MVP.”
“What? What about Kolb?”
“Gone.”
“Well, I have Romo is my back-up.”
“He’ll snap his collarbone pretty early on.”
“Oh shit! That sucks. At least I drafted Randy Moss , so I’ll get all those receiving yards from Brady.”
“Hahahahahaha. So naive, four month younger self.”
“What do you mean?”
“Moss is barely on the radar in Tennessee.”
“WHAT? Well who did Titans trade to get Moss? Chris Johnson?”
“Oh, no one. They picked him up off of waivers.”
“Why would Boston waive Randy Moss?”
“They didn’t, the Vikings did. By the way, you really should try to trade for Chris Johnson. And pick up that Woodhead kid while you can.”
“The one cut on ‘Hard Knocks’ by the Jets? Is he even on a team?”
“Yes. Now, I don’t have much time left here, but when you think you should bench TO; don’t.”
“Really?”
“Really. The day you bench him will be the day he gets 27 pts.”
“But by me not benching him, don’t I throw the fabric of the universe off and maybe he doesn’t get 27 points?”
“Listen younger self, fantasy football has nothing to do with the actual games. You should know that by now.”
“Anything else?”
“Yes, the Penguins are going to suck in October. Start making gifs with sunglasses over dogs and just say ‘Deal with it’ and move on.”
*POOF AS OLD SELF GOES BACK TO THE FUTURE*
“Sunglasses on dogs that say ‘Deal with it’?”
Related, Draft 2.0 When your novelist friends think your draft talk is about your book.
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