I sent the following email to the rest of the Steelers Illuminati THUNDERDOME League on Monday.
See this picture frame?
See the picture in the frame?
This picture has been with me more than ten years. I don’t have any duplicates.
I was in Cleveland for a concert and stumbled upon their “Browns return” countdown clock in their downtown plaza/mall. Happened to have my Steelers hat on my backpack and a Steelers sticker in my wallet. Ran up to the clock, put on my hat, yelled “Go Steelers! BOOOOOO BROWNS!”, my friend snapped the photo, I slammed the sticker on the clock, and ran off.
Not the best picture of me — for many reasons, mostly because I was coming off one of my heavier ups swings in weight and late 90’s high-waisted pleated khaki’s flatter no one — but I love it. The picture and the frame has stayed next to my TV through three different moves.
I thought about posting this picture today and threatening to burn it if we lost to the Browns this week, but chickened out.
That is how rattled this Steeler team has me right now.
(Okay, I might have edited this email for clarity so it would be in slightly better shape for posting.)
Today brought this email from Pat of WHYGAVS:
Whenever I think about this game tonight, I get a creeping sense of dread.
Immediately Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies shot back,
Do not let it sink in. GO STEELERS AND PENS.
While I was glad to see his confidence, I was still really worried — okay fine, I still am — about the the possibility of losing five in a row. Then I caught up with my RSS reader and saw this post on DC Steeler Nation, Don’t Lose to Goddamn Cleveland.
It is that simple. Don’t lose to Cleveland. I feel better saying it aloud. Don’t lose to Cleveland.  We cannot lose to Cleveland. THE STEELERS WILL NOT LOSE TO CLEVELAND.
Or I am burning this picture.*
*Reserve the right to not really burn this picture because ultimately the Steelers are 60-55 against the Browns and haven’t lost to them since 2003. That’s good enough not to burn something.  But I still could burn it.
[UPDATE] Not burning the picture. Taking up less painful hobbies like leech wrestling and human dartboarding.
Ooof. I just realized if you look at that photo closely enough, you can see a scrunchie on my wrist.
The last thing that anyone in the known universe needs right now is the smiling face of future 3rd string back-up QB for Detroit, Brady Quinn. Please do not bring a smile to this kid’s face, or I might upchuck Mioplex all over my living room.
Also, I am willing to submit should we lose, I will replace my own online picture with that of a goat. Because it would seem only appropriate.