Previously on Ladies…

Your fantasy picks are set. You have put fresh batteries in the Tivo remote for your own instant replays. You have either ordered the NFL Sunday Ticket or have memorized the NFL local broadcast and blackout maps.

You are ready for football.

You have been training for this for weeks. Pizza Loaves with Watermelon-Vodka Slushees, Buffalo Chicken Dips with Blueberri Stoli Lemon Fizz, Mexican Pinwheels and Mary Pickfords, and homemade corn dogs with Rusty Nails. You even took a field trip out to check out some local Chicago sports bars over on Deadspin.

You are ready for football.

And on this, the holiest of weekends until the playoffs start, you are ready to tackle the greatest Football Foodie dish there is known to fans everywhere: The 9-Layer Rachero Dip. Also this week, Cocktail of the Week’s “Lucky Glass” and New Product Review: NBC’s Sunday Night Football has their own “Football Foodies”.

You will need –

3-4 Cans of no-fat refried beans (See the bacon down there? You don’t need the refried beans with fat, you are adding your own fresh fat.)
1/2 to 1 pound bacon
8 oz Sour cream (I usually double this, as you will see.)
2/3 cup mayo (Again, usually doubled.)
1 – 2 packets of taco seasoning
1 – 2 4 oz cans of green chilies
4-5 avocados (Use your best judgment here. If they are really small avocados, use 5-6.)
2 Tbs lemon juice
1 Tsp garlic powder
8 oz + shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups green onions
2 cups chopped tomatoes
6 oz – 12 oz sliced black olives

Mix together mayo, sour cream, and taco seasoning in a bowl. Remember how I said I usually double this mix? Much like coach Belichick and the injury report, I lied. I always double the amount of sour cream and mayo, and then usually use about a packet and a half of taco seasoning. (Really to taste, but remember the longer this sits, the more the spices will open up on the cream so do not over do it. ) You can also make your own taco seasoning by mixing together paprika, cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder if you happen to have all the above on hand.

Chop green onions and tomatoes. Put all three bowls into the fridge to chill while you make the next few layers.

Fry until very crispy 1/2 pound bacon. If you want to use more, I will not judge. It’s bacon for god’s sake, and there is no such thing as too much bacon.

Once cooked, remove the bacon from the pan. Drain off all the grease from both the bacon and the pan.

In the same skillet, heat refried beans so they absorb the trace amounts of bacon fat from the pan and crumble in the fried bacon. (BACON!)

Spread into large, deep serving platter or lasagna dish. Set aside to cool.

Mash together garlic powder, lemon, and avocados. Use more garlic powder to taste, and lemon juice as needed. Do not over mix or over season though, as you want to keep as much as the avocado flavor as you can. (Yes, I mash my avocados with a pastry blender. Best tool for the job.)

Layer on top of your bacon and beans base.

Drain water from green chiles, and add on top of the avocado layer. If you think your crew can handle the heat, add one small can of diced jalapenos to this layer.

Pour on your cream layer. I cannot say for certain, but I imagine this would be Cowboys great Nate Newton’s favorite layer.

Think Peyton Manning and spread out the coverage evenly.

Sprinkle on green onions.

Add on tomatoes.

Gratuitous extra shot of tomato layer, just because it’s pretty and it’s there. By game four CBS is going to call this the “Brady Quinn” shot.

Cover with olives, the more the better.

And finally, use as much cheese as you like, although I recommend not adding this layer while watching the Fox pre-game show as the dancing robots and Terry Bradshaw may render you lactose-intolerant.

Serve with a hearty chip.

One 9-Layer Rancho Dip should serve one medium sized football gathering through two games, or one large gathering through one. (Except for that one Super Bowl party with 60 people, where I turned my back for ten minutes and it was gone.)

Kickoff Cocktail of the Week: The Lucky Glass

We’ve spent the last few weeks trying out new drinks, but opening weekend, you want to be comfortable with your plays. Everyone has first week jitters, and your drink should be the least of your concerns. Go to what works. (Personally? I’m usually too nervous for the first game of the season and will probably have little more than water in the first half on Sunday morning.)

Just make sure no matter what you drink, you go to your lucky glass. It might be the same plastic Dolphins cup you’ve had since 1993. It might be the new beer stein your mother-in-law bought you last Christmas with the metal Seahawks logo glued to the front. It might have Winnie the Pooh on it. But we all have one. That glass that fits right in your hand and is the perfect weight; not so light you are apt to tip it over when you get excited, and not so heavy you cannot throw it in disgust without breaking something.

New Product Review: NBC’s Sunday Night Football – “Football Foodies”

If you go to, you will see that NBC has embraced the “Football Foodies right at the top of their main page. Click through and you will be taken to Bravo’s “Top Chef” page where they have started a blog for the Football Foodies, which as of this time consists of nothing more than a few recipes pulled from the first few seasons of their show.

(Let the record state that I draw no conclusions from their first post date being the exact same day that I launched the Friday Football Foodie “Pizza Loaf”-style. This series is not a terrible original idea and I am far from the only person who loves alliteration.)

What I do think is terrible is that in the time since they rummaged through their vault to slap up something as a place holder, they have not bothered to update that page. Football has now officially started! People don’t have time come Saturday to keep looking for recipes, run to the market to get everything needed, watch the games on Sunday and still cook! This is on the front page of your site and you have not bothered to do anything else with it? For shame!

NBC, if you really need help with this segment just let us know, we would be more than happy to help. I won’t even ask for the secret number to Keith Olbermann’s red phone, I promise.

Next week: The long promised Football Foodie Brunch: Four Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Quiche, Bloody Marys, and Almond Champagne.

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39 Responses to Friday Football Foodie – 9-Layer Ranchero Dip Kickoff Special

  1. ladyandrea says:

    Would the dip be okay without the tomato layer?

    Looks delicious, especially with jalepenos.

  2. That pan of bacon brought tears of joy to this hungover law student’s eyes…

  3. steve says:

    I wonder how much is says about me that my lucky cup is a 32oz glass mug that I can fit 2.5 beers into at a time.

    And olives are gross and should be made illegal in all 50 states (and puerto rico)

  4. Godfather says:

    TSW’s hands are so sexy when she’s making these recipes. These Friday Foodies truly are food porn.

  5. I was looking at the bacon and thinking naughty things… I can’t tell if that’s more creepy than Godfather’s comment or less.

  6. Metschick says:

    That just brought back my appetite (which has been gone since Sunday afternoon) back big time! Thanks, TSW.


    [A waiter drops his tray in shock and the room goes quiet.]

    Not. On. My. Watch.

  8. Andie – You could, but you might want to add something else in its place so you still get contrasting textures.

  9. Holly says:

    I won’t even ask for the secret number to Keith Olbermann’s red phone, I promise.

    I make NO SUCH PROMISE. *dreamy sigh*

  10. ladyandrea says:

    TSW, I only ask b/c I don’t like tomatoes and one of my friends is actually allergic. I wonder what I could add instead….

  11. Holly says:

    Something juicy…what about diced cucumber?

  12. Peppers? Something not overpowering and mild, like red or green bell peppers. You could probably even saute them lightly and then let them cool, as not to be too crunchy.

    Holly – Cucumbers get too watery after a while.

  13. SA says:

    You know, I don’t like olives or avocado, but this looks delicious. I just might have to try it out.

  14. Holly says:

    Digging the bell pepper idea. I may add those anyway.

  15. gratuitous hand shots

    invented by giada

    perfected by TSW

  16. Tuffy says:

    I love the colors in this dish. It’s like a rainbow of heart disease.

    I know a kid in Indianapolis that can eat this without chips. Or utensils.

    I would mock the inclusion of a non-alcoholic beverage in the beautiful rows of booze, but I do love that black cherry cream.

    By the way, who let Thing have Internet access?

  17. Godfather says:

    Just realized my earlier comment was pretty creepy. I’ll just agree with Sheena’s comment and say how much I love these recipes on Fridays. I eat well on weekends now.

  18. Don’t worry Godfather, and thanks for the love. Two of my favorite cocktails, (the Godfather and the Godmother), come from your name.

  19. […] Nine-layer Ranchero Dip. Mmmm….bacon. [Ladies…] […]

  20. IJustMadeThatUp says:

    Keith Olbermann Red Phone Line #? 555-FILC.

    And Tuffy, people at the party to which the Infamous 9-Layers was brought were eating with spoons after many “chip malfunctions”. I see nothing wrong with it.

    I think I’ll switch up to a plastic tumbler this year, just in case. Things didn’t fare so well for the nice set of beer mugs I had last year. (I’m down to two, now.)

  21. Rob I. says:

    You forgot the chocolate layer.

    Still, looks yummy!

  22. ladyandrea says:

    Rob I: or the layer of lady fingers.

  23. chasevidwrightley says:

    I’d have to substitute meat (yes, meat) for the refried beans because…ew. Not a fan of the refried beans.

    But…BACON. Yum.

  24. Peter Cavan says:

    chasevidwrightley: browned ground beef might work if you HAD to leave the refried beans out. But you’d probably want to mix it with something else so it held together.

    I made a 7-layer dip similar to this one for my Super Bowl party where there were only 2 other guests (many others were invited, but only two showed up). I had 7-layer dip for dinner all week.

    /wishes for more friends to come over for football so I can serve things like this more than once a year

  25. Texas Gal says:

    I was going to pee my pants if that Black Cherry Cream bottle turned out to be some form of alcohol– instead I will just have to sigh with delight over TSW’s awesome dip.

  26. Chocolate layer? Now you’re just being greedy, Rob.

    Texy – That bottle for especially placed for the Lady who does not drink. :)

  27. Burnsy says:

    I’ve worked very hard to maintain my slightly curvaceous manly body but it’s all going to hell thanks to these delicious posts.

  28. Burnsy – Hence the “Eat veggies and fruit the rest of the week”.

  29. DougOLis says:

    I’m with Steve, olives are worthless… other than for making olive oil, which is delicious.

    That bean and bacon layer looks utterly vile. I guess it’s good you wind up not seeing it in the end.

    As far as the Bravo recipes go, Tre’s bacon wrapped shrimp with grits is fucking awesome. It would make a mighty fine football food.

  30. bigboneded says:

    TSW – First they name a TV show after you, then NBC lifts your Fx3 idea, what’s next,’s Fantasy Hottie QB League?

    Somebody is following you, biting your creativity…Ladies.

    Incidentally, the Buffalo Dip and Pizza Loaf kicked so much ass last night, they will be alongside the 9-Layer Rancherorgasm Dip on Sunday.

  31. Seriously, ever since I last made it, I’ve been craving that buffalo dip again.

  32. SA says:

    The black cherry cream looks good. I love black cherry flavor.

  33. Metschick says:

    That bottle for especially placed for the Lady who does not drink. :)

    We have a Lady who doesn’t drink?!

    Are one of y’all pregnant?

  34. TSW's M says:

    The great thing about this recipe is that it is “to taste.” Also, for folks that will have a slightly smaller crowd than the throng that TSW seems to entertain, you can only make a half recipe and it will be great!

    BTW — TSW– did you get the flashing Steeler earrings that I sent you?

  35. No, when did you send them?

  36. Anthony says:

    Dear God.

    It’s beautiful.

  37. I kept waiting for the “Bake at 350 for 15 minutes” step. Do you think it’d be good as a hot dip? I think it may – the avocado might get a little iffy though.

  38. I wouldn’t want the sour cream layer to go bad if you baked it. Same with the avocado.

    If you wanted it backed, you could do maybe the beans, then chiles, then cheese, (which would melt the cheese), and once it is out add the other layers.

  39. DougOLis says:

    If you’re going to bake that bitch, I suggest a layer or cream cheese.

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