Previously on Ladies…

Week three of Friday Football Foodie training camp. You have made Pizza Loaves and Buffalo Chicken Dips and you think you are ready to move on to something a bit more challenging. We’re not quite there yet. The theme is still simple-assembly finger foods. Why?

Because everyone needs the framework for a play that can be used when adversity strikes: the vegetarians.

As a good host, you want to make your home welcoming to everyone, and that includes making snacks that all of your guests will enjoy. (Offering them the sides of celery to your wings does not count as a “dish”.)

If you are a vegetarian going to watch the game at a friend’s place, don’t assume that if the grill is going that there will be Gardenburgers. Show up prepared. (Vegans, I love you, but you’re on your own on football days. Come over any day of the week and I will feed you. But game days? You’re getting the box of Tofutti Cuties I always keep in the freezer and liking it.)

Mexican Pinwheels, Mary Pickfords, and “Might Be New to You” Product Reviews: Morningstar Farms Mini-Corn Dogs and Buffalo Wings.

You will need…

8 flour tortillas, burrito size
1 8 oz package cream cheese, softened (Don’t heat it, just let it sit on the counter for about 20 minutes. Or as long as it takes you to unpack the groceries, grab a drink, let the dog out, check the answering machine, and find the channel that Tony Kornheiser is not on.)
1/3 cup mayonnaise (If you want to go light mayo here, I am sure you can.)
1/2 cup salsa (I heartily endorse Santa Barbara Company’s Fire Roasted Chili.)
5-7 green onions (If your chives from last week’s Buffalo Chicken Dip are still good, use those instead.)
1 7 oz can of green chilies, drained
2 4.25 oz cans sliced black olives, drained (Or one. I love olives any shape or form, so I tend to use more.)

Really, this is the type of recipe you can call your own audibles. I’ve added black beans, jalapenos, roasted corn, cilantro, and tomatoes, all with really good results. The only thing I would say as you head to the line is make sure you’ve got everything chopped fairly fine, as you will need to roll these pinwheels tightly.

Drain all your canned ingredients and blend together with the softened cream cheese and mayo.

Mix in your salsa, green onions, and whatever else you little Mannings decided to add.

Once it is a complete mess, (much like when Dallas Clark doesn’t hear the call), it is time for the next play.

Spread a thin layer over each tortilla.

Tightly spiral each shell with care. Think Elway tight.

Refrigerate for at least one hour. The longer they chill, the easier the next step will be. If you plan on leaving them overnight, (which you totally can do), wrap the pinwheels in plastic so they don’t become as dry as the Raiders’ playoff hopes. Much like how Al Davis sleeps. In plastic. Or something funnier.

When ready, slice into one inch sections. The ends tend to not have as much filling, so if you are like me, you don’t want to serve those pieces to your guests. The upside is that they are perfect “chef snacks” in the kitchen while no one is looking.

Serve with salsa and guacamole. The tray you see here is about a third of what that batch makes, so plan on either stuffing everyone or having leftovers. Just because they are vegetarians doesn’t mean you can’t send them home with doggie bags.

Mary Pickfords

This is one of those great fate ideas. I already knew I wanted to do all vegetarian friendly items for this FFF, but didn’t have any thoughts on a drink. Still too hot for beer in my mind. Didn’t feel like going to BevMo for anything I was out of at the bar. (Which really, is just gin at the moment.) I knew I had a lot of rum to get rid of, and some pineapple juice… Ah ha! Mary Pickfords!

But how do I relate her to sports? Or this theme? Help me, mighty Google Borg… Yes! Mary Pickford was a vegetarian!

You will need…

Light rum
Pineapple juice
Maraschino cherries

Measure out equal parts rum and pineapple juice and pour into a shaker with ice.

Add a touch of grenadine. I used the clear one just for this purpose, so I could keep an eye of how “pink” it became. It should look like the inside of a grapefruit, not the pink of a sorority girl’s Matt Leinart “lady’s” jersey.

Shake and serve over ice.

Decide that the glass does not look “full”, and add more rum.

Add more pineapple juice to assuage your guilt for adding more rum. Add all the Maraschino cherries your little heart desires.

Take one sip, wonder how that little curly-haired waif Mary Pickford managed to take over Hollywood with this strong of a drink, and try to remember if it was her or her brother who was in “Brown of Harvard”, the 1920’s football and rowing film. (Possibly the greatest of sports combinations since cross-country skiing and rifle.)

“Might Be New to You” Product Reviews: Morningstar Farms Mini-Corn Dogs and Buffalo Wings

You do not have to be a vegetarian to eat these products.

I repeat; you do not have to be a vegetarian to eat these products.

I have served these to the manliest of meat eating men, and they have not complained one bit. To be honest? The first time I put these out on football day, (last year when I gave up meat for 8 months), no one noticed the difference until I told them they were vegetarian “meat free” snacks. No one was disgusted, no one was horrified, and everyone kept on eating. I think one person looked down at the Buffalo nugget in their hand and gave a surprised, “Really?” and then popped the rest of it into their mouth.

So do not feel bad about serving these to both your meat eating and vegetarian friends. If the carnivores don’t like it, tell them to have another beer, dip their corn dog in spicy mustard, and quit sounding like that crybaby Joe Buck already.

Next Week: The benefit of living in the Pacific Time Zone – The Football Brunch

Many of you FFF fans have sent in pictures of your creations from these recipes, along with a few ideas for upcoming posts. Please keep them coming! Email me at tswladies [at] I’ve already got at least two new ones, Hot Beef Dip and Stuffed Banana Peppers, I cannot wait to make.

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35 Responses to Friday Football Foodie – Vegetarians are coming! Mexican Pinwheels, Mary Pickford, "Corn Dogs", and "Wings"

  1. Clare says:

    Hot Beef Dip

    Must…refrain…from…salacious…Joselio Hanson…joke…

  2. IJustMadeThatUp says:

    I’m not sure what TSW was trying to do here by stuffing BOTH the Mexican Roll-Ups (which are absolutely phenomenal beyond all recognition– and I dare you to try and not add a touch of Frank’s Hot Sauce) AND the faux corndogs and buffalo wings.

    It’s a whole lot of snacky goodness to take in this early in the morning. (And the office donuts hardly feel filling in comparison.)

    Nice hat, by the way.

  3. Tuffy says:

    The veggie corn dogs are better than regular corn dogs. They are not greasy but are just as salty, so you can pound more of them.

    I approve of all use of cream cheese in snacks, meals, and foreplay. Sweet, sweet cream cheese. I need a moment.

  4. Extra P. says:

    I eat those Mexican Pinwheels in multiples of ten. I love them, and they never make me feel “grossly full”.

  5. Nice. I’m looking forward to brunch week, and I’ll crack a Po’mosa to that.

  6. The Food Network should trash one of Rachael Ray’s abominations and hand the time slot over to the TSW.

  7. Anyone else disturbed by Tuffy’s comment?

    STS – Maybe, but I cannot do anything in a half an hour.

    (And everyone should be thankful. I worked really hard not to make a Vick joke with the “doggie bag” line.)

  8. Peter Cavan says:

    Now that I know you’re accepting recipe ideas, I’ll send in a few. I have a go-to big play sandwich I make several times a year for football games.

  9. Brian says:

    Love the Morningstar corn dogs. Least I know I wouldn’t starve.

  10. ladyandrea says:

    Morningstar also makes great veggie burgers, particularly the black bean one.

    Another yummy post, TSW.

  11. thistlewarrior says:

    The corndogs seriously rock!

    BTW, the sweet potato Pringels from last week are great and I heartily recomend the Sezchwan BBQ, Parm & Garlic, & if you can find them the Honey Chipotle BBQ.

  12. Clare says:

    thistlewarrior, I liked the sweet potato Pringles, but I skipped the Szechwan barbeque because they had MSG in them. Too bad, they looked really interesting.

    TSW, will the football brunch recpies include…QUICHE?!

  13. Clare… Maybe.

    And I love those Szechwan chips, I didn’t see the MSG. (I had planned on reviewing them coming up soon.)

  14. My former roommate was a vegetarian (save for our once-monthly outings to Pig Pickin’s for BBQ) and we went through A LOT of the Morningstar Corn Dogs. We tried the buffalo wings once but both described them as tasting like spicy paper.

  15. IJustMadeThatUp says:

    I kinda like the Moringstar wings. With the right amount of blue cheese dressing for dip, I think the paper-ish taste is masked nicely.

    What’s this you say about “Honey Chipotle BBQ”? Good God.

  16. Clare says:

    J-Money, I call people like that ba-curious. My friend Anne doesn’t eat meat, but she’ll always order bacon when we go out for breakfast.

  17. Clare – Tomorrow… oh this is too good. I’ll email you the bacon thing for tomorrow.

    And I am with IJMTU. I love the wings. You just have to be careful not to over bake them.

  18. ladyandrea says:

    Jmoney, Clare: I had a friend in undergrad who was a strict vegetarian (no eggs, no cheese, etc) but she would eat bacon every so often.

    Ba-curious is hilarious.

  19. Clare says:

    The vegan who ate bacon. Sounds like a food crime novel.

  20. It’s like Berman, (as UM likes to always point out is Jewish), eating the bacon.

  21. Holly says:

    My momma has made the pinwheels for years, as TSW suggests above, with roasted corn and tomatoes (plus mango, mmmm), to great success. Taaaaasty.

  22. Ryno says:

    I waited all week for veggie wraps and chick drinks?


  23. ladyandrea says:

    Get in the kitchen and make your own food, Ryno.

  24. Extra P. says:

    OK, Clare – you now have to start yet another blog. Ba-curious it is. Either that, or your quiche has to be called that.

  25. Ryno – Skip quiche week then.

    Stay for 9-layer week.

  26. […] Friday Football Foodie – Vegetarians are coming! Mexican Pinwheels, Mary Pickford, “Corn Dogs… Week three of Friday Football Foodie training camp. You have made Pizza Loaves and Buffalo Chicken Dips and you think […] […]

  27. Anthony says:

    Pinwheels. Yum yum yum.

    I have a cocktail for you.

    1 rocks glass
    5 ice cubes
    1 bottle of bourbon (think Woodford Reserve…not Jim Beam)

    Mix ice and bourbon in glass.

    Consume liberally.

  28. undergroundbto says:

    I don’t see what Mascherano has to do with Mary Pickford. Was she involved in a “tapping-up” scandal?

  29. Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan says:

    So if I check out Aaron Rowand, does that make me Ba-curious Pants?

    (forced rictus smile, expecting approval for call back to dotdotdot meme.)

  30. One can Hormel chili + 1 block Philadelphia cream cheese. Combine. Heat on low. Stir. Serve with tortilla chips.

    (That’s what the entire post would look like if lazy men like myself ran a Friday Football Foodie. Thank God for Ladies…)

  31. Anthony – I like bourbon in the form of juleps.

    BTO – HA!

    Doxidan – We don’t judge around here. A nice ass is a nice ass.

    Nationalcholic – That sounds, um, scary!

  32. Anthony says:

    I make mint juleps on derby day, otherwise I like it just on ice or in my coffee.

    I am simple.

  33. Anthony says:

    Oh God I just noticed the Newcastle in your fridge…lucky bastard!

  34. bristlesage says:

    Nationalcoholic, I have a female friend who makes that same recipe, but adds about a cup of shredded cheddar to the top. She calls it “chili crack,” and damn, it’s nastily tasty.

  35. Mark says:

    Clare — I swear I’m not ba-curious or any other kind of curious, but I think it’s probably bad that I was thinking pretty much the same thing about the “hot beef dip” recipe. Umm…boobies? Yeah, that’s better.

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