Jeff Foster - Pacers

Hello.  Perhaps you do not know me.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Jeff Foster and I am the center for the Indiana Pacers.  Tell me about you though, enough of about me.  Stare deep into my eyes, lean into me as I lean into you, and tell me everything.  It is just you and I in this locker room… how did such a smart and good looking cheerleader wander into the men’s locker room? No matter.  You’re here now and you are all I can focus on.

I know I’m cute as button.  Even the ref is checking out my behind I am so cute.  Even my name is very cute – Carlos Delfino.  Won the gold medal in the last Olympics with the Argentinian National team.  Isn’t that cute too? I could wear my little gold medal and look even cuter, but then I think you’d have to fight Mr. Scary Ref.




Je vous présente Thabo Sefolosha.  I could tell you all about my time with the Chicago Bulls in about five other languages if you like, but that would be wasting time. The most important thing you need to know about me is that I am from Switzerland.  All the quality chocolate you can handle, meine lieblich.




Do not ask questions.  Enough with the questions.  I am from Turkey and I was born in 1987.  You do not need to know anything else.  Uzbek? No, no, I am from Turkey and I was born in 1987. If it was good enough for the Bucks, it is good enough for you.  Would these lips lie?





Larry Hughes here.  Yeah, Cavs, play-offs, yeah yeah.  Yeah I can introduce you to LeBron, but why would you want to meet that giant marshmallow?  You know baby, I’m the one who totally will support your career.  Yeah.




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29 Responses to NBA Hotties – Central Heating Edition

  1. I am so sorry. I have the worst flu… and the voices… they’re coming from everywhere.

  2. Andrea says:

    Uh, I’m pretty sure Jeff Foster actually PLAYED Dracula in the episode Buffy vs. Dracula. Freak-ay.

  3. Yeah, that picture is all sorts of freaky.

  4. becky says:

    Jeff Foster? Really???

    And I’m sorry but LBJ is 1,000x hotter than Larry freaking Hughes, AND he doesn’t completely suck.
    Hughes does seem like a good guy though, rather than a completely self absorbed prima donna.
    But come on…the OBVIOUS choice should have been the Black Tom Cruise. Right? Um…right?

  5. At the risk of alienating one of my closest friends… (looks around… see’s he’s not here…) I’m not the biggest LeBron fan….

    … in the looks department.

    That picture of Foster makes it look like he could discuss fine wine.

  6. becky says:

    It also makes it look like he could discuss fine wine…with Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC.

  7. With that fake tan? He looks like he is steeping in fine wine. Yuck.

  8. Sanchez says:

    Can I just echo the ‘Jeff Foster??!’ point.

    Dude looks like he sold his soul for a medium nachos.

  9. Pam says:

    jeff foster is an ugly dude. He looks like a creep in that photo.

  10. becky says:


    as a big fan of nachos, I highly resent that remark.

  11. Clare says:

    Slap a leather daddy mustache on him, and Jeff Foster could be a dead ringer for Freddie Mercury.

    All we hear is…radio gaga [clap clap].

  12. I did mention that I was high on cold and flu medicine all weekend, right?

  13. Disco Stu says:

    Jeff Foster is nacho-friendly? No wonder the Pacers had to trade Artest, then Stephen Jackson. Those two plus Foster would have been too much freak for the Hoosier State….

    As it goes, I hate to take the Ladies… time — ask to take the Ladies… time — as I’m doing, but I have a problem. A ladies… problem. (Note the lower case.) See, I was at the 24 hour greasy spoon in my homeburg on the weekend, & I got ballsy — for once — & openly flipped half-and-half with (with an eye toward asking out) one of the waitresses there. As best as I’ve been able to tell, girl has had an eye for me — don’t ask me why — on-and-off for six months, or more.

    Well, I asked for her number, as I was leaving, but I posed my question as “would you mind giving me your number, so next-time you’re having an after-hours party, I can give you a ring?”… So, now, I don’t know what to do, how soon to call her. (She said, after giving me what is (presumptively) her number, that I should call her right away, so she can have my number.)

    What to do, what to do?

  14. Sanchez says:


    lol! I said *medium* nachos though. Us nachos fans surely prefer ‘large’ don’t we? duh…

  15. Disco Stu – When I was unattached, I had a line for when guys asked me for my number, “Are you going to use it? I’m not going to give you my number unless you plan on actually calling me.”

    (If I didn’t want to give the guy my number, I usually just said I was Amish and didn’t have a phone.)

    Which means, if she gave you her number you should call her sooner rather than later. She said “right away”. Which means not past Tuesday in my mind.

  16. becky says:

    Disco Stu,
    if I may butt in as a non-Ladies… lady…
    sack up and call her.
    if you need an excuse to do so, make one (i.e. have a party. invite her.) don’t wait for her to call you. yeah, it’s 2007 but we still don’t want wimpy boys that don’t go for what they want.


  17. Isn’t Carlos Delfino the name of a character on Desperate Housewives?

  18. Disco Stu says:

    SW — I shall consider your advice sufficient to my end. I was going to ask one of my contacts on the inside — a lady’s lady, if you will — who is also from the PGH, but your suggestion preempts my intent to ask the other’s advice. So, thanks.

  19. Clare says:

    Disco Stu, with apologies to Wedding Crashers for bastardizing their line, that girl was eye-fucking the shit out of you. Call her.

  20. mcbias says:

    Stop apologizing, TSW, I thought it was funny. :-)

  21. Disco Stu says:

    Clare, actually, she has. Last nite, & the nite before, & the nite before… (Ok. Now I’m just riffing on a Streets song.)

    Still, that first sentence is true.

    & aren’t you in Pittsburgh? (In that case, be careful, or Aaron Gray’ll put your eye out.)

  22. J-Money – MIKE Delfino… and whatever CARLOS’ last name. Please.

    Great… now I am going to humming “Fit and Don’t You Know It” the rest of the day. (Because it is the most catchy Streets song.)

    McBias – Then I should get sick more often.

  23. ladyandrea says:

    Carlos Solis. I’m ashamed I even know that. That show has gone so far downhill.

  24. I’ve got my fingers crossed for Zombie Rex during May sweeps.

    And I hate that Edie seduced Carlos, especially because her penis is probably the bigger of the two.

  25. Disco Stu says:

    Are we talking a live penis, as in hermaphroditism, or a prosthesis, as in strap-ons & pegging?

  26. I hate myself for still watching the show.

    Especially when they called Edie “40” last night.

    She’s 40 like I’m 16…

  27. Metschick says:

    zombie rex! I would pay good cash money to see that…

  28. Clare says:

    Disco Stu, were you at Ritter’s? I used to live in Shadyside, about five minutes from there.

  29. naptown drew says:

    Give Jeff Foster a break. He’s actually a really nice guy.

    Plus, if you let him in your bedroom he wouldn’t fall asleep in a weed-induced haze like Jamaal Tinsley.

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