Things You Can Wish On Rival Sports Fans and Figures Without Damaging Your Karma Too Badly

Chapped lips.
A rather bad paper cut.
Having both chapped lips and a bad paper cut then ordering an especially salty margarita.
Movie they want to watch at home is available on DVD but not on streaming.
Lack of street parking.
Bitter coffee.
Cat shreds both arms of the sofa.
Unable to unsubscribe from coupon emails.
Single-ply toilet paper.
A trip to the post office.
Connecting flight through Atlanta.
Mockingbirds nesting outside bedroom window.
Soggy nachos.
Third place in all of their fantasy leagues.
Inexact change.
The Browns.