1) Did you know about this thing about something I just found Wikipedia? SO RANDOM!
2) I’m not sure if this next cartoon is nostalgic for the ’60s or nostalgic for the ’80s nostalgia for ’60s, but either way I’m too young to have appreciated it when it was cool. Faaarrrr out!
3) 75% of people who joke that 33% of statistics are made up are 6x more likely to have half of their 100% RDA of vitamin B12 in the form of ficus tree algae that was regurgitated into their mouths by their cats.
4) Something something STAR WARS.
5) Top tens lists are more effective when formatted as a slideshow since readers burn .0008762 calories for each page click, making each page turn a super miniature orgasm.
6) This is actually a rehash of another piece found in the archives, but odds are you don’t remember reading it as we sure as don’t remember writing it.
7) Right now as you’re getting the breezy, superficial Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About, Patton Oswald is cursing your name for having an easier time of it than he did for learning about Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About.
9) All of these things give you cancer, including starlets.
10) Number 11 on any Top Ten Things You Didn’t Know About is always, “Kill yourself. No, wait. Kill me, then kill yourself.”