Did you honestly think you could prepare for the Super Bowl in just a couple of days? Did you say to yourself, “Well, I guess since New Orleans in playing in the Super Bowl I could just use this old Hurricane mix I had laying around the house.” Or even, “But I need to get my Pro Bowl party out of the way first! And the Senior Bowl! I cannot even begin to think about my Super Bowl party until next week.”
WELL SUCK IT UP NANCY BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU CAN EAT LIKE A PIG UNTIL NEXT SEPTEMBER. You either start planning and cooking now or you will be stuck fighting some I-don’t-care-football-but-maybe-I-will-get-laid-if-I-get-out-of-the-house douchecake in an American Apparel hoodie over the last bag of Cool Ranch Doritos at the Silver Lake Vons next Saturday.
“But Sarah, I was going to make a giant muffaletta or a pot of gumbo for my Super Bowl party. That should feed everyone.” Great. What do you feed everyone for the remaining three hours of your party? If your main course is the game, then what is your halftime show? What are your funny commercials that require you to share 3D glasses with six of your friends and sixty of their filthy 3D thumbprints? Are you ready for people to start rooting through your drawers looking for more snacks? You need to have many, many, supporting dishes for the Super Bowl. For every Drew Brees, there are several lineman there to block for him, and for every Peyton Manning dive to the ground, there are several lineman to throw under the bus for not blocking for him! This is a team sport and your Super Bowl spread needs to reflect that just one or two dishes do not make a buffet.
Are you willing to go to a Super Bowl party and run the risk of them not having enough snacks? And no, showing up with a six-pack of beer is not enough! That’s about a bottle a beer an hour JUST FOR YOURSELF, so no, you did not bring anything to share. So you will sack up and make at least one item to bring to the party.
Here’s the plan. For the next 14 days I will post easy little recipes to supplement your Super Bowl planning. Small things that will make the difference between a routine Super Bowl party and a spectacular, winning Super Bowl party. Like place kickers. (Looking for larger items? The archives are filled with big ticket meal-type items if you want to search on your own for something, but we’ll be sure to add a couple of new dishes over the next couple of weeks.)
Are you a Colts or a Saints fan? Congratulations! If you care more about your food for the Super Bowl then you really should give up watching football entirely! It’s true! Last season during the Steelers Super Bowl run I could have given a fuck about making sure I had all the right food for the right party! Who can eat? You still have fucking football that matters to watch! Let the rest of the fans worry about what you’re going to nervously shove in your face two weeks from now. Not like you’re actually going to taste the food going down. (Or conversely, coming back up depending on how your team plays.)
And oh, if you’re a Colts fan, I really don’t believe you. You’re a Manning fan. That’s fine. Embrace it. I know about a half a dozen Colts fans — outside of internet friends that is — and none of them are from Indianapolis, most of them went to University of Tennessee, and all of them unabashedly love Peyton Manning. No shame. Just admit it so we don’t have to really care about that flat stretch of land around a large mall and racetrack.
Day 1 of 14 Days of Super Bowl Recipes: Salted Honey Roasted Pecans
You will need…
2 cups of whole (or pieces, I buy what is ever on sale) of pecans.
Kosher salt (Table salt is fine, but use less of it because it actually does have more sodium in it and tastes more salty.)
Preheat your oven to 325º.
Drizzle about two to three tablespoons of honey on your nuts.
Pour about a 1/4 – 1/3 cup of hot water over the honeyed nuts and stir. The hot water will help evenly coat your pecans with honey, and keep them moist during roasting.
Sprinkle on a generous pinch of kosher salt, about a teaspoon or so, and about 1-2 tablespoons of sugar. Mix well.
If you want to spice them up a little bit with some freshly ground pepper or chili flakes, you can. Personally, I prefer the sweet and salty mix.
Pour everything — including the honey-sugar-water still at the bottom of your bowl — onto your lined cookie sheet. Feel like gambling and using an unlined pan? You’re either going to be doing dishes for a week or just buying yourself a new cookie sheet. Your call.
Bake for 15 minutes.
Take the pan out of the oven, add a 1/2 teaspoon of salt and another tablespoon of sugar, and stir until evenly coated.
Put the pan back in the oven for 15 more minutes.
Repeat the step above. You should have hardly any water left on the pan, so if you need a touch more hot water just to make sure the salt and sugar are evenly covering your pecans, you can.
Repeat a third time, but omit the salt. You should be tossing just nuts, syrup, and sugar for the last go around.
Place back in the oven for 15 more minutes. (45 minutes of total cooking time.)
Remove from oven and spread on a clean piece of parchment paper to cool and dry.
Greatest thing about these roasted pecans? I think they taste like bacon.
If kept in a sealed container, they should last for about two to three weeks before turning, leaving you plenty of time to make a second batch in case this one “disappears” before your Super Bowl party.