Listen DirecTV (Directv? DirectV? DirecTv? DirectTV? Or as you always print it, DIRECTV?), I don’t ask for much.

I’ve been a happy NFL Sunday Ticket customer for more than six years now (SuperFan subscriber for two) with nary a complaint. Oh sure, I cringe every July when my bill shoots up an extra $60 bucks a month until Christmas, but $360 for the football package isn’t too terrible when my total DirecTV costs are around $1900 a year.

And as silly as it sounds, I look forward to the renewal notice. Not because it is a harbinger of all the football yet to come, but up until now, each year you’ve mailed a full schedule and channel guide for the entire season. Everything I need to know in one place. Easy to keep next to the TV. No muss, no fuss – open, read, turn the channel to 713. One year I kept it in my purse, just in case I ran into a bartender who was a little slow on the draw.

This year? A Week ONE schedule and a link to check out the guide online?!?!

I pay you almost two grand a year and you’re saving money by only giving me a WEEK ONE guide? Yes, the magnet that was glued to the leaflet is nice, but I already have enough magnets. Village Pizza, Roto-Rooter, and friends who are too cheap to buy real travel souvenirs have taken care of me in magnet department.

What I need is a schedule. All the games, all the channels. Easy to read. Something I can take with me in a hurry.

Do you know how hard direct.com/nfl is navigate on a Blackberry? Four clicks later and I still haven’t found the schedule, and I’m pretty sober this afternoon. What happens after my second Bellini or third Bloody Mary and after all the scrolling, searching, accidentally ordering Fool’s Gold on pay-per-view, and resetting the parental lock on the porn? Then what? Are you refunding me the $4.99 and making sure customer service is not snickering next time I go looking for Zombie Strippers?

You’ve launched your new ON-Demand service. You’re predicting $20 Billion in revenue in 2010. Life is good down in El Segundo! No need to cheap out and not give me a FULL SEASON channel guide!

Share →

2 Responses to "One Week" With DirecTV

  1. IJustMadeThatUp says:

    Well, it’s worth it for the muffin-tops alone.

  2. What does that even mean?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>