Previously on Ladies…
Today’s Friday Football Foodie is brought to you by stats guru, writer, runner, and hot blogger Precious Roy from Kermit the Blog.
You know what I love? Cooking. Fucking love it. So much so that I should probably be barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen right now, Well, except for the fact that I’m missing an x-chromosome and I’ve got a penis. And shoes.
Anyway, I’ll stop sounding like this is the Jamboroo. It’s food. So it probably doesn’t need dick jokes.
Okay, this week we’re actually cooking for the Monday Nighter. It’s probably going to be a gawdawful game but we’re going to eat so well that nobody will even notice. Either that or we’ll hit people with so many calories they’ll go into a food coma and have no idea what happened when they stumble into work the next day.
It’s New Orleans and Atlanta. So we’re making a traditional Freaknik meal.
Just kidding. We’re cooking with the ‘Aints in mind even if it is a road game and we’re making a big pot of gumbo, white chocolate bread pudding for dessert, and for drink, we’ll be downing Skylabs. And God help you if you have more than two of them.
This all might look a little daunting. It’s not. It’s just detailed. The only other heads-up you need is to read through to see how much prep time you need (especially with the bread pudding as you might want to jump on that a day ahead)
You’ll need – 2 1/4 cups vegetable oil
2 cups flour
2 medium onions (chopped)
3-4 ribs celery (chopped)
2 medium bell peppers (chopped)
1 pound Andouille sausage (cut into small chunks)
12 cups water
6 tsp Tony Chachere’s or any cajun seasoning*
5-6 bay leaves
3-4 chicken breasts (cut into small chunks)
1 lb. of shrimp (peeled and de-veined)
1 cup green onions
1/3 cup chopped parsley
(*You can sub 3 tsp salt, 2 1/2 tsp black pepper, 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper)
Also, you can halve the amounts for a smaller batch if you’re only serving 4-5 people.
Okay, the trick to this is all in the roux. That’s the base of this whole thing. Heat the oil in a large heavy-bottomed pot over medium-low heat for 1-2 minutes. Gradually stir in the flour with a whisk so that it all blends in smoothly. When all flour has been added, constantly stir over medium- low heat until flour gradually changes color, from pasty beige to peanut butter color to chocolate brown.
See the pics. That’s start, middle, and finish. Only the color on the finish is a little off (hey, you try to shoot looking down a stainless steel pot). It should be a little darker than it looks there. You’re shooting for something that’s a little darker than Halle Berry but not quite Diana Ross.
I was told this should take “enough time to drink two beers.” I can’t imagine the wuss who came up with this. I usually put down at least three and often four doing the roux. It’s about half an hour, if it takes more (up to 45 minutes), don’t worry.You really need to error on the side of caution here because if black burned flecks appear in the roux, you’ve fucked up and burnt it. You have to start over. Seriously. It’s ruined. So stir constantly and be patient.
Add the onions to the roux and saute for 2-3 minutes. BE REALLY CAREFUL HERE when you add the onions because that oil is fucking hot, and if it splatters, it will burn the bejeezus out of you.
Add celery, and bell peppers and saute over low heat until vegetables start to wilt (5-7 minutes). The color of the roux will turn even darker. This is what you want (and again, the color on the pic is a bit off, it will look much darker (and less reddish) than it does here… it’s almost Emmanuel Adebayor or even Didier Drogba at this point).
Add the water and bay leaves, stirring until the liquids are well blended.
In a separate pan take your Andoullie sausage and add a bit of the cajun seasoning. Saute for 5-6 minutes. Andouille is standard cajun type sausage. Don’t sub out for it if you can’t find it. It will taste horrible if you try Chorizo or something Polish. If you want you can omit and just up the dosage of chicken and shrimp and nobody will probably notice. Add to the pot when done.
Season the chicken with remaining spice mix then add that to the pot.
Bring the whole mess to gentle boil, then reduce to slow simmer for at least 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Skim off surface fat occasionally. About 30 minutes before serving, add shrimp parsley and green onions. If you have any filé on hand, a teaspoon or two of that wouldn’t hurt. Remove the bay leaves and serve over white rice.
Don’t be anal about the amounts parsley and green onion. I usually buy a bunch of each and use all of the green onions, then pull a wad of parsley off the bunch then chop it finely.
White Chocolate Bread Pudding (Holy shit is this stuff yummy but it will put you in a hospital well before you’re supposed to end up in one).
9 ounces white chocolate
3 (10-in.) loaves French Bread
6 egg yolks
4 cups heavy whipping cream
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
Slice the French bread into half-inch thick slices and set aside (a softer crusted French bread works best).
In a large bowl mix together eggs and egg yolks. Set aside.
In a large saucepan combine cream, milk, and sugar (and what pansy decided to dilute all that cream with milk, I have no idea, but I use 1%). Bring mixture to a low simmer then slowly add in the white chocolate and stir (or lightly whisk) until it is all melted.
Remove from heat and quickly stir in the egg mixture. You need to stir this quickly so that you don’t cook the eggs in the milk/chocolate mixture.
In a 9×13 baking dish (Pyrex if you’ve got it) place the bread in 2-3 layers. Pour half of the cream/egg mixture over the bread. Press bread down gently so that the cream gets soaked up. This is really not fun as the mixture is still fucking hot, but you gotta do it. Be mindful of the corners and make sure they are getting liquid in them as well. Once most of it has been soaked up, pour the remaining mixture over the bread.
Cover and chill in the fridge for a minimum of 5 hours—yes, 5.
Preheat oven the oven to 300. Bake for 1 hour. Remove foil and bake for another 30-45 or until golden brown. Let it cool for about 30 minutes and serve with a bit of cream if you don’t think there’s enough in there yet.
I had a friend who went to law school at Tulane. Hot tip: never have a Tulane grad as your lawyer. I never saw him or any one of his friends crack a book and they were out ’til 4 am nightly. Anyway, we went for New Year’s (Sugar Bowl, duh) and got dragged down to the Quarter by a third party of tourists. Worse, we got dragged to Pat O’s. He spared me from having to drink hurricanes when he directed me to these.
I don’t encourage irresponsible drinking. I accept it and I often expect it. But holy cow I don’t know how to handle these responsibly. I apologize in advance if you have any interest in not having a hangover. On the plus side, you’ll have no recollection of how badly the Falcons suck.
So the Skylab… Have one. Enjoy it. Have two. Then stop. If you have three or more. Have a designated driver to go with.
1 ounce Everclear
1 ounce Bacardi 151
1 ounce Blue Curação liqueur
1/2 ounce apricot brandy
1 ounce orange juice
1 ounce pineapple juice
1 ounce fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons sugar syrup
Combine in a shaker, then strain into an 8-ounce glass filled with ice. Or, as I prefer, multiply everything by 8. Make a pitcher (stir) then share with your friends so you’re not the only one with your head in the office toilet on Tuesday.
If you’re an overachiever I can hit you up with a couple of options for an appetizer. But I’ve probably used too much word space here already. If you want though you can pop over to my blog and under ‘Pages’ you can find a ‘Contact.’